I am writing this post using my wii because for some dumb reason, my laptop is not connecting to the internet. I think it has something to do with one of those automatic updates, and I am trying hard to reverse it, but who knows when or if I'll get it back. Stay patient with me please, I may have some interesting things for you when I get back up.
Thank you
The Editor.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Squizzle the Monkey
Not exactly sure where the weekend went, but it's gone. I called about a job but am still waiting to hear back. The Boss is finishing her last few shifts in Orem this week and by Friday, she'll be back in the valley. I've been fighting a neck ache from staring at the computer, a backache from mowing three lawns on Saturday for my nephews, and a headache from trying to once again reshift my visual focus. I had spent all the time since my transplant with the right side being dominant and I had pretty much stopped using the left eye. When I got my lenses, it took the better part of a week to get adjusted to stereo vision. And now I've spent a weekend with my left eye dominant. Yesterday, I just left my remaining lens out, and spent the day with ice packs on my neck and back.
Gripe. gripe, gripe. What else am I supposed to do with my time?
Today the Boss is off, and she's getting a solid dose of Squizzle. I think that at some point during her pregnancy, the Boss must have had some mutant ice to crunch because the boy is not normal. He may have devolved back to chimp form.
This morning, he climbed out of the tub by himself. I watched to see what he would do. He closed the lid on the toilet seat, climbed on it and from there he pulled himself onto the sink counter. Then he plopped his naked butt down in the sink, pushed the plug in, and turned on the water. This is not a large sink, mind you, but Squizzle seemed to think that it was his own private hot tub. Why not? He screamed like a soccer player trying to draw a yellow card when I finally jerked him out of there.
I thought I was going to have to lock the door to keep him out. His little stumpy legs would spin like he was running when I picked him up and as soon as I set him down, he'd peel out and head back for the bathroom. It reminded me of something out of a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
Then this afternoon he pulled a doozey.
He came into the kitchen while the Boss was doing bills. She watched as he opened the dishwasher and climbed up onto the door. He then pulled out the bottom rack of the dishwasher, posted his right foot on the edge and hefted his chubby little chimp butt up onto the counter.
Not done yet. Not by a sight.
He climbed into the kitchen sink this time and once again turned on the water. He grabbed the drain plug from the window sill and stuck it in the other side of the sink. He sat there contentedly splashing away while the sink filled up. He slogged from sink to sink, laughing and having a grand time. After a minute this became boring and so he turned around, opened the cabinet and pulled out a measuring cup.
Who knew that a plastic measuring cup was the greatest toy in the history of man kind? Squizzle started laughing before he even got back in the sink. He filled the cup and then dumped it over his own head, soaking down the three square inches of himself that were not already waterlogged. And yes, he was still in his diaper. A few more dumps of the cup were fun, but then the boy discovered that using the cup to fling water across the kitchen floor was ten times more fun than just pouring it out.
I'm not sure were he would have taken it from there, but the Boss and I were no longer interested in waiting to find out. She pulled him out of the sink and I grabbed a mop.
Monster!!
I have caught him trying to open the dishwasher three times since then and caught him on the counter once. Life as we knew it is once again over.
And all I can think is what a crummy freaking time it is to not have health insurance. We haven't had a trip to the emergency room for some time, and with this many runts, we are well overdue. With my luck, I am certain that it will be ten minutes before the Boss's new benefits kick in.
That isn't all the Squizzle related funny, though. Yesterday Moe and Puzilla decided to dress him up in his church clothes and send him on "Dates" with their dolls. As they were negotiating the difficult process of selecting wardrobe and affixing it to unwilling participants, Moe fired off what may have been the line of the month.
Turning to Puzilla, she said, "We gotta do Squizzle first, because he's more stubborn...And he's real."
Yeah, he's real all right...A real pain in the...Uh, oh! Gotta go. Just caught him trying to power bomb from the top ropes...er...I mean the top of the sofa. And I'm pretty sure my headache is now turning into a stroke.
Can't live with 'em, can't sell 'em on Ebay.
Gripe. gripe, gripe. What else am I supposed to do with my time?
Today the Boss is off, and she's getting a solid dose of Squizzle. I think that at some point during her pregnancy, the Boss must have had some mutant ice to crunch because the boy is not normal. He may have devolved back to chimp form.
This morning, he climbed out of the tub by himself. I watched to see what he would do. He closed the lid on the toilet seat, climbed on it and from there he pulled himself onto the sink counter. Then he plopped his naked butt down in the sink, pushed the plug in, and turned on the water. This is not a large sink, mind you, but Squizzle seemed to think that it was his own private hot tub. Why not? He screamed like a soccer player trying to draw a yellow card when I finally jerked him out of there.
I thought I was going to have to lock the door to keep him out. His little stumpy legs would spin like he was running when I picked him up and as soon as I set him down, he'd peel out and head back for the bathroom. It reminded me of something out of a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
Then this afternoon he pulled a doozey.
He came into the kitchen while the Boss was doing bills. She watched as he opened the dishwasher and climbed up onto the door. He then pulled out the bottom rack of the dishwasher, posted his right foot on the edge and hefted his chubby little chimp butt up onto the counter.
Not done yet. Not by a sight.
He climbed into the kitchen sink this time and once again turned on the water. He grabbed the drain plug from the window sill and stuck it in the other side of the sink. He sat there contentedly splashing away while the sink filled up. He slogged from sink to sink, laughing and having a grand time. After a minute this became boring and so he turned around, opened the cabinet and pulled out a measuring cup.
Who knew that a plastic measuring cup was the greatest toy in the history of man kind? Squizzle started laughing before he even got back in the sink. He filled the cup and then dumped it over his own head, soaking down the three square inches of himself that were not already waterlogged. And yes, he was still in his diaper. A few more dumps of the cup were fun, but then the boy discovered that using the cup to fling water across the kitchen floor was ten times more fun than just pouring it out.
I'm not sure were he would have taken it from there, but the Boss and I were no longer interested in waiting to find out. She pulled him out of the sink and I grabbed a mop.
Monster!!
I have caught him trying to open the dishwasher three times since then and caught him on the counter once. Life as we knew it is once again over.
And all I can think is what a crummy freaking time it is to not have health insurance. We haven't had a trip to the emergency room for some time, and with this many runts, we are well overdue. With my luck, I am certain that it will be ten minutes before the Boss's new benefits kick in.
That isn't all the Squizzle related funny, though. Yesterday Moe and Puzilla decided to dress him up in his church clothes and send him on "Dates" with their dolls. As they were negotiating the difficult process of selecting wardrobe and affixing it to unwilling participants, Moe fired off what may have been the line of the month.
Turning to Puzilla, she said, "We gotta do Squizzle first, because he's more stubborn...And he's real."
Yeah, he's real all right...A real pain in the...Uh, oh! Gotta go. Just caught him trying to power bomb from the top ropes...er...I mean the top of the sofa. And I'm pretty sure my headache is now turning into a stroke.
Can't live with 'em, can't sell 'em on Ebay.
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