Didn't get a chance to post yesterday. Sorry. things were a little crazy. But the extra time to observe gave me some pretty funny stuff. But first things first.
As you may have figured from this last week or so worth of posts, I am officially on the job hunt. I have been looking in all the usual places; Ward Employment Specialist, LDSjobs.org, newspaper classifieds, etc. But something that I had not thought to do was enlist the help of my loyal and most favored readers. If any of you know of any jobs that I might apply for, please let me know. I have years of warehouse experience in shipping and receiving and when my eyes are good, (which will be soon, we hope) I have nearly a decade on a forklift.
I also have a Bachelor's degree in English which helps with communications skills and as a general indicator of work ethic. I'd really like to find something as a writer or in education, but at this point, I'll take any job that I qualify for.
If nothing else, we could use your prayers in our behalf while we try and figure out which direction to go in.
And now, I'll make with the funny.
The first one comes courtesy of Beak.
After a few months of Bub getting on and off of the potty training band wagon (I don't think he's had an accident here in I don't remember how long), Beak is convinced that the boy finally has it figured out. He hasn't had any accidents here or at home in over a week now, and she is very proud of him.
I spoke to her last night and she said she had some blog-fodder for me.
I'll let her tell it.
"Bub came running up to me today saying, 'Potty! Potty!'. I told him that if he had to go he should hurry up and get to the bathroom and not wait. He looked at me and made a bee-line straight for the back door. I started to tell him the bathroom was the other way, but he was already out the door. By the time I got to the back porch, he was standing on the edge of the deck with his drawers around his ankles and he was making it rain!"
I guess we know why the flowers in Beak's backyard grow so nicely, now, don't we? Kinda makes you wish that the Googlemaps satellite was flying overhead at just that moment, huh? It'd serve the nosey beggars right.
Second was Peff telling the Boss last night that he knew how chicken nuggets were made.
"You take the chicken part and the nugget part and the crust part and you put them in the oven and bake them. When they are done, you put the crust part on the chicken part. Then you put them into a special box and then you put them in happy meals."
Not sure what that "nugget" part is, but I now know why I've always been a cheeseburger kind of guy.
Last of all is my favorite story of the night. The Boss and I had been seeking a date for a while, and last night we got a chance to relax a little, sans monkeys. Uncle C agreed to keep an eye on them so we could have a night out. About 9:30 we went to pick them up. We chatted with Beak and Uncle C for a few minutes, then piled the runts into the van and set out for home. On the way, I told the kids that when we got home, they would have to hurry and get their pajamas on, take a melatonin and get to bed.
Have I never mentioned this stuff before? With all apologies to Ben Franklin and his take on beer, melatonin is the real proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. All natural, doctor recommended, no side effect children's sleep aid. Our pediatrician recommended it to us when Peff was a wild child that would not go to bed.
I'll never forget the first time he took it. He was running in a small circle as fast as he could while singing a song. The Boss gave him a tablet and a drink of water and then he took off again. I turned my head for a minute and when I looked back, he had fallen to the ground like he'd been hit with an ax.
Out cold.
I guess what melatonin does is just flip the switch in your brain that reminds you that you're sleepy. He hadn't slept enough for so long, it smacked him like a hammer.
Usually, it takes about ten minutes before it works, but that first time...Magic happens. I swear by it. Melatonin and Tivo for Sunday football are pretty much how I keep from climbing a clock tower, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, I told the kids they had to take some as soon as they got home and get to bed. Peff, from the back seat pipes up, "Don't worry about the melatonin, Dad. Uncle C spiked our drinks at dinner, so we already took some."
Suddenly Haggis shouts, "He did what?!"
Peff repeated, "Uncle C put the 'Tonin in our drinks at dinner."
Haggis: "Oh, crap! I drank my drink and then Reaggers gave me hers! I drank 'em both!"
The Boss and I erupted with laughter.
I called Beak who confirmed that Uncle C, had in fact spiked Reaggers drink. She parted with it so easily because she knew it was loaded and didn't want to take it. She was more than happy to let Haggis take her fall.
Now, I don't know if it's possible to OD on Melatonin, but Haggis takes the same dose as we give Squizzle, so I doubt it. Either way, by the time we got home, I had to practically carry Haggis to bed.
Have you ever tried to push a twelve year old to bed while trying not to bust your guts open with hysterical laughter? That's a funny enough image for its own story.
Ah, well. Who knows what adventure we may find today?
Enough for now.
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