Something The Boy Said

Went to Orem to help the Boss with a little work project yesterday. The city of Orem held a fun run to benefit a police charity. It was called "Run a Crook Out of Town" and we set up a table at the start/finish line with ice water, treats, and coupons for free meals. As the primary sponsor (and the only one present) Village Inn got some nice publicity and community good will.

As a family, we got fed, the kids and I got to get out of the house, and the Boss got paid for three hours of work on her day off. That is a miracle that never would have happened under the Clown.

When we pulled into the parking lot, Peff scored big points with his Old Man when he gently requested that his mother move the car, for she had thoughtlessly parked closer to a red car than a blue one. According to the brainwashing propaganda (also known as the TRUTH!) that I endlessly indoctrinate him with, Red (school colors of the hated Utah Utes) is the color of evil. Blue (school colors of BYU) is the color of loyalty, courage and righteousness. It was a beautiful moment that would have brought tears to my eyes if my tear ducts hadn't been seared shut by overdoses of steroids.

Next up for the Peff? A t-shirt that reads "Me too, Max. Me too."

Of course his turn for the funny was not finished. He ordered the smiley-faced pancakes for dinner, and then asked his mother if he could "blind" his face. I figured he wanted to pluck the blueberries and eat them first, but he was actually after the salt to shake over them. Don't ask me, it's not my fault.

***Editor's Note to Self
I gotta find a way to keep this kid from going to work for the CIA....
***

At dinner, the kids were very good and on their best behavior; except for Squizzle who was so excited by the idea of a drink all for himself that he spent most of the time hooting and laughing and having a grand time. Luckily for us we were there between the lunch and dinner rushes so there was not a lot of others around to be annoyed.

And speaking of annoyed...

After we had finished dinner, I took the kids for a spin around the parking lot while the Boss took care of some work matters before the race. Having been pent up for an hour on their best behaviour, they decided that they needed to cut loose and make a little noise. Moe commented that Squizzle's happy chatter in the restaurant was funny at first but "Got a little annoying after a minute."

I agreed, of course, but the reference to annoyance caused me to foolishly bring up one of my favorite movie quotes from "Dumb & Dumber": "Hey! Wanna hear the most annoying noise in the world?" (Followed by high pitched, nasal squealing equivalent to nails on a chalkboard).

The kids, having never seen this movie, thought it was hilarious and immediately began to create their own unique, individual "most annoying noise in the world".

Most were high pitched wails or screeches of some order or another, and Puzilla in particular, figuratively shattered several storefront windows. Squizzle got back into the spirit adding his own distinctive "Yawp" and I soon found myself suffering from a head-splitting migraine of monolithic proportions.

Thus inspired by "art" I coined a new term...the "Symphannoy". I thought about calling it the "Annoychestra", but Symphannoy has a pop to it that I can't quite explain. It just sounds better.

In theory only, of course.

In practice, it probably rates as the aural equivalent to Peff's salt in the eyes. Whatever you call it, it is torture.

Water boarding, indeed. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Turn those terrorists over to my five kids for twenty minutes, and they'll gleefully spill their guts about where Bin Laden is.

Destroying Angels isn't just a clever nickname, folks.