The Downward Spiral?

It's been a pretty good year so far. It really has; and I feel like our life is turning upward and for the better. It dawned on me as I was typing last night's quick post about "Squizzle and the Paint Chips" that it has been a while since I was frustrated enough to rant and rave and say smart-mouth things (mostly).

While this is a VERY good thing, it has cut down on the funny posts quite a bit. I suppose that the old saw about humor being the stepchild of misery is probably true in my case. But there is something to be said for tranquility, and you may remember that not long ago I promised not to take good times for granted.

Hence my now weeklong project to document our vacation. I realize that this is probably boring most of you to tears, and I apologize if that is the case. But I did intend for this to be a journal of sorts, and heaven forbid that I record the times in my life when I feel blessed instead of put upon. I can't help it if it's not as funny. Rest assured that the bitter, raving, lunatic that is Fatdaddy is lurking just under the surface; waiting for the next disaster to unleash his scathing sarcasm and lethal irony onto the blank screen of my word processor.

Waiting for days like today...

Usually, I can hit the little magnifying glass on the bottom of my screen, blow things up to 150% and can see enough to type just fine. This morning, I woke up with the worst eye day I've had in years. My good eye was glued shut and it took a good half hour with hot water and towels just to get it open. It is all puffed up so that I'm even squintier (is that a word?) than usual and I can't see nothin'. I had to type this on Word with size 16 font and the screen blown up to 250, and I'm still having a heck of a time seeing what I'm doing. So typos and bad syntax probably abound. Sorry.

I can't really see the kids, but I can sure as heck hear them. Someone turned the "whine" dial up to 11 and it's starting to annoy me...A LOT!!! I'm still fighting that headache I wrote about last night, so the piercing tattle-tale voices of four year olds is causing my face to melt like that guy at the end of "Raiders of the Lost Ark". On the good side, maybe my eyeballs will fall out like that dude's did, and I can get them replaced. Anyway, if you are a parent, you'll understand what I am talking about when I say that I have reached the point where the more they whine and complain to me, the less sympathetic I am likely to become.

I made scrambled eggs, they wanted cereal. I turned on Spongebob, they wanted to watch Max and Ruby. I put Squizzle in his chair, he wants to play on the floor. I want them to get dressed, they want to run around all day in their pajamas...

OK, I may give in to them on that one. But for the rest of it, I say tough tukas. It's a Fatdaddy way or the highway kinda day. Be obedient or be toast. I'm ready to go mythical on these runts.

"Look out, Odysseus, here comes the Cyclops!!!"

Wait a second. I don't like the way that one turned out for the cyclops. Bad example. Where's that $%#@ delete key...?

Anyway, IF I can get everyone settled back down and IF I can get my eye issues worked out enough to review pictures and IF I still have thirty seconds this afternoon, I'll try to put up more on the vacation.

In the mean time, I'm going to take some asprin and think happy thoughts. I'd just as soon mornings like this become the exception rather than the rule. Otherwise, I'll start running out of FedEx envelopes again.