Enjoy It While It Lasts

Where to start?

Many things happening, not much time to write because A) the Boss is off today and today is the last day we will have to get things ready for our "away from the things of man" tour; and B) before we can go, we have to take the laptop into the repair shop because there is an annoying digitized line running right down the middle of the screen.

So this might be the last post for a couple of days. I'm not looking forward to having my favorite steam vent shut off. To paraphrase Homer, "All destroying angels and no computer make Fatdaddy...something...something....Go crazy? Don't mind if I do!"

I have said before that having a blog is an excellent way for me to blow off the crazy things the runts do; it doesn't tick me off as much if I can turn it into a joke and the only reason to joke is if someone will laugh at it. So you guys are my therapy.

Last night it dawned on me that the blog just widens my audience a bit. The snide comments I make on here are pretty much the snide things I say to the TV when it's just the Boss and the kids, but they've heard all my "A" material before.

Repeatedly.

Now if only I could figure out a way to get paid for it...

Moving right along, I watched more curling yesterday and it made more sense this time. My sister in law made an excellent point in her comment yesterday that I had missed, though, and I wanted to share it with all of you in case you also missed it. She wonders why there is someone called "Skip" when everyone seems to be sliding.

An excellent question, and one that I wish I had been clever enough to ask. I'd call myself a Hack, but apparently that's the block they use to push off from when they start their slides.

The US men's team is still lousy. The US women's team is still cute. The German women did have a couple of cuties, but also a couple who were...um...the exception to the rule? Yes, that's the delicate way to put it. They were excellent curlers though. And I have to be honest here, I was expecting a little more from the Swedish team. Lousy stereotypes.

Something does need to be said about the women's hockey. I am seriously wondering about the format. Canada has won their two games by an aggregate of about 10,000 to zed. The US women have won their games by about 9,999 to 1.

At what point do we have a tournament amongst the other teams for the Bronze and just let the US and Canada duke it out in a Best of Seven for the gold? I won't watch anymore until the medal rounds, or until they put a mercy rule in place the way women's softball has. If some one is up double digits at the end of any period, the match is called. The winners don't have to suit up their managers and water-girls and the losers don't have to get pounded through the ice any more than necessary.

Honestly, it is kind of painful to watch.

But not as painful as the women's downhill. Now there are some TOUGH women. Did anyone else happen to see some of those crashes? Seriously, I cannot believe they all walked away from them. A couple of girls went through the finish face-first and one gal went past the line completely airborne; spinning like a top. I haven't seen that many rag dolls since our trip to the pioneer museum.

And that Italian girl (I think she was Italian) that went into orbit off of the last jump? She landed hard and then did the best imitation of a curling stone I have ever seen. They showed her go through the air for two hundred yards, and she easily slid another two hundred on her backside. My brother wondered aloud if she was going to have any material left on the backside of her suit.

She got up and walked off the course. That's guts.

Vince and Jerry certainly approved.

Well that's it for now. I'll keep taking notes and try to catch up when the computer gets back from the geek squad. No telling how long that might take. In the meantime, I'll try to sneak over to Beak's or Mom's to post a little something here or there.

Enjoy the circus and behave yourselves.

Yeah, right.

Curling is the Coolest!

Having not had satellite TV for the past several five ring circuses (circi?), I have missed the ratings juggernaut that is Curling.

I am hooked.

And I'm not sure why. I have NO IDEA what the announcers are talking about. The words they speak are English (at least I think so), but the structure and placement of the words make it impossible to understand what the heck they are talking about.

The only sentence that I have been able to understand is, "They need to use a lot of weight to zoom the hammer down there and smash the opponents stones out of the house."

Even if that doesn't mean what I think it does, any sport in which you get to throw a hammer at your opponents stones is a sport worth investigating! Especially if you are an unemployed bum with nothing better to do.

Now during my foray into the odd world of curling yesterday, I have made the following conclusions.

First:
The US men's team is lousy. I didn't need to get the scoring system to know that if every time you slide a stone into the bull's eye, and the opponent replaces it with two of their own, you're loosing. Not to mention they have miked the participants up so we can hear their mid-game conversations and the US captain spent most of yesterday using words that would make Vince and Jerry blush. Not a good sign.

Second:
I don't know who does the wardrobe for the Norwegian Men's team, but I want to buy my next suit from them. Red, white, and blue argyle pants that are as loud and obnoxious as me. I did not know that I had a fabric equivalent, but yesterday I saw it on TV. Two different pairs even. They have replaced Rodney Dangerfield's "Caddyshack" wardrobe as the clothes I'd most like to wear to one of my daughters weddings. If you haven't seen the Norwegian team's pants yet, you should google it. It is worth the time. The mysteries of the universe may well be hidden in those diamond patterns!

Third:
I recognize that my readership is comprised mainly of housewives and at the risk of offending many of you I would appreciate a paragraph or two to go into misogynistic Man Card Mode. I apologize in advance but if you ask your husbands to do some research, they will agree with me on this one.

Most, if not all, women curlers are pretty dang good looking. The US team is all cute. Best of all, curlers are built like real live women, not those scrawny skin and bone Hollywood types. Plus there's not a hatchet face in the bunch.

And the Japanese team? Let's just say the Irish bobsled team now has some competition.

Now you know me. I belong only to the Boss. And I respect the athletic prowess of the female athletes. And I'm not saying there should be a competition at the games based on looks. But if there was, I'd like to volunteer my services as a judge.

It would give new meaning to the idea that something won "in a double blind test".

Well, Motor just got here so he, Reaggers and Peff are about to make a batch of macaroni and cheese for baking day.

Enjoy the Five Ring Circus!!