Things That Are Fun To Do

Puzilla came home from school yesterday and gave me permission to tell her funny story. I think the lure of fame overcame her embarrassment of people laughing. I'm really glad because I wasn't going to break my promise but I really wanted to record this one.

We went to church on Sunday, and right after the meetings, our neighbor cornered the Boss. This neighbor is a very funny lady who loves to be a wise-cracker. Example: I have a large BYU decal on the back of my van. Her "Fatal Flaw" is that she likes the Utes.

****Editor's Note
Anyone who doesn't live around here needs to know that in Utah you are a Red Utah Ute or a Blue BYU Cougar and that's about it (I know Bircher Bunch; there are about twenty five or thirty Aggie fans, but even the Utah State guys choose sides for BYU-Utah). It is a bitter, mean spirited, ugly rivalry. Think Redsox-Yankees, but if they were forced to live in the same house. More along the lines of Celtic versus Rangers, but without the firebombs (at least so far).
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This neighbor loves to stop by the house now and then, take the BYU magnet off the back of the van and bring it to the door. When I answer her knock, she tells me that some miserable teenage vandals have been defacing my auto with vulgar and obscene graffiti.

I told you; she's a real pip.

And as my wife so perfectly framed it, she and Puzilla are "matches and gasoline". Their goofy senses of humor are nearly identical. So on Sunday, the neighbor cornered the Boss and told her this classic.

"I was leading the music in Primary and we were singing 'Fun to Do'".

****Editor's Note
"Fun to Do" is a cute little song they sing in Primary now and then that is designed to get small children to focus their attention and have them ready to listen to that week's lesson. It's a fill in the blank song with an easy, catchy, tune. A child gets chosen to pick something they like to do and then all the kids sing, "________ is fun to do, fun to do, fun to do! _________ is fun to do, to do, to do, to do!"
Then another kid gets to pick something new and they sing it again with the new fill in the blank. They do this 4 or 5 times, and the kids will all be paying attention and sitting quietly in the hope that they'll get to pick the next thing that is fun to do. Then they can start the lesson.
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The neighbor then tells the Boss that she was looking for someone to tell her what they like to do when Puzilla's hand shot up like a rocket. So she called on her and Puzey said "Drinking Pepto Bismol!"

****Editor's Note
Don't ask me, I'm just the Stay-at-home Dad. I have no idea where the H she came up with that one. I'm going to go with...she was raised by wolves.
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The neighbor, being who she is, decided that this was absolutely perfect ( I warned you...Matches and Gasoline). So she led the entire primary (forty or so kids) in a rousing verse of "Drinking Pepto is fun to do, fun to do, fun to do, Drinking Pepto is fun to do, to do, to do, to do." I seriously doubt if any of them had any idea what Pepto is for, and only my little Puzey would think that drinking that chalky, peppermint goo for an upset stomach would actually be "Fun to do".

I guess that as soon as they were finished (don't ask me how the adults in there kept a straight face, there is simply no way they were not rolling on the floor), Puzey shot her hand into the air again.

Not wanting to miss any more gems, the neighbor called on her again. Puzey purportedly said...

"Um...I think I made a mistake. I said the wrong thing. It was supposed to be drinking Amoxicillin."

Apparently time (and the inability to stop laughing) did not allow for a second verse.

It's OK, sweetheart. I get you. It can be tough to keep all those delicious, pink medicines separate, can't it? It's probably for the best. "Drinking Amoxicillin is fun to do" just doesn't have the same pep (pardon the pun) as "Drinking Pepto is Fun to do".

The story is even better if you've had a chance to hear Puzey's faint, wispy voice tell it. She got a little embarrassed because she wasn't trying to be funny, but she sure as heck was.

****Editor's Note
The extra punch for this comes from the fact that my mother happens to be good friends with the nice woman who wrote "Fun to DO". How ironic. I'll bet nobody has ever hit the spirit of her message quite as well as Puzey. She's nothing if not one of a kind.