Happy Birthday, Puzilla

Yesterday was Puzilla's seventh birthday. There is no way that child is allowed to be that old already. We had french fries and Ice Cream for dinner, because that is what she asked for. Jamie Oliver can bite me. I've fed my kids chocolate cake for breakfast, ice cream for lunch, and at this very moment, Peff, Reaggers, Bub, and Squizzles are eating Popsicles on my deck at ten in the morning. I guess I'm just a bad parent. Besides, Puzilla could use a little fat in her diet. I seriously fear that someone will accuse us of neglect because she is so flipping skinny. She has a free pass to eat a spoonful of peanut butter anytime she wants it. I still have no idea how a kid that scrawny could make it in this family, but she does. And she makes me laugh. All the time.

On Saturday, we went to the nickle arcade and spent about three hours there. It's like a pre-teen Vegas. I showed Peff the OG Donkey Kong and a vintage pacman game and he was very much less than impressed. I also spent thirty cents playing a pinball game because everyone knows that the fat, bald, and blind kid sure plays a mean pinball.

The Boss played a cool video game version of Deal or No Deal, and won the max prize, which turned out to be four hundred tickets. With the tickets the kids won playing skeeball, wheel of fortune and whack-a-mole, we finished a very fun afternoon with about 900 tickets for our efforts.

As a side note, do you have any idea how many wax lips and Chinese finger cuffs you can get with 900 tickets? It's a lot. That's all I'll say.

I was pressing the Boss hard for a few extra nickles at the end. I wanted to try and win enough tickets for this wicked, awesome, switchblade comb. And then I realized that I'm bald. What the H do I need a comb for?

The whole afternoon cost me twenty bucks and the kids got all the stick yo-yo's and slide whistles they could ask for. We came home and watched the Alvin and the Chipmunk Squeaqual. It was as mind-numbingly dopey as you would imagine. The kids loved it.

Happy Seventh Birthday, Puzey. You're sweet and goofy, and skinny as a rail. Don't ever change.