Wire report-
During the off season, the Cubs were sold by the Tribune Corporation to the Ricketts family (No puns, please). This morning there are rumors that the family was contacted by ATK corporation about a possible takeover.
It seems that the Aerospace giant, which manufactures the solid rocket fuel boosters for the space shuttle program, is interested in testing the flammability of the Cubbie bullpen for possible use in the next generation of spacecraft boosters.
"Those guys are quite possibly the most ferociously combustible material in the known universe," said one anonymous ATK source. "Their bizarre ability to simultaneously implode and explode is unique among terrestrial elements. If we could find a way to harness that... to use it for good, we could really be on to something. We could ride those guys right into space!"
"Good luck with that," replied Lou Pinnella, the Cubs embattled manager when told of the impending acquisition. "We can't even use the bums to climb out of the NL basement."
Pinella added that he might be willing to trade his entire relief staff to ATK for as little as case of "Big League Chew" and a new water cooler and he would involve himself in any future talks.
No one at ATK or the Cubbies front office had any official comment.
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Bottom of the 8th: Cubbies 3, Reds 1.
Top of the 9th: Reds 5, Cubs 3.
There's more to say but I can't. It just hurts too much.
But you neglected to mention that the Cubbies loaded up the bases in the 9th and then ended the game on a check swing. Not as bad as three guys going down looking, but still lame.
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