Quite the Ash Hole

I'll bet that's the most intriguing post title you've seen in a while, huh? Only took me a second or two to come up with.

I'm trying to get the house picked up a little this morning because today marks the return of "Wednesday Treat Day" and Motor will be joining Peff, Reagers, Bub and Squizzle (if he's still alive) in an early afternoon round of brownie baking. Yeah, I know, premix brownies don't qualify as actual "baking", but I'm out of practice so leave me alone.

I've spent the first part of the morning in the kitchen washing dishes and sweeping the floor. One might think that I would have learned better by now, but I asked Peff and Reaggers to if not watch Squizzle, at least let me know when he was headed for disaster.

What can I say? I'm a slow learner and I've got the scars to prove it.

I'm loading the dishwasher and Reaggers comes up to me and says. "Um, Uncle Fatdaddy...Squizzle is into something."

"What, pray tell, is he into?"

"I'm not sure, but it's black."

Now, I can't think of one single substance that he might be into that is black in color and not going to be a force of major destruction in my home. Construction paper, maybe?

So I mad dash it into the living room and find my one year old Destroying Angel up to his toddler armpits in fireplace ash. Not that fine gray powder that's left from burning a pressed wax firelog. Oh, no. I'm talkin' that industrial, heavy duty, blacker than a coal miner's backside kind of ash. And the little ash monster is trying desperately to wipe himself off...on my carpet.

Fortunately for me, the Kool-aid stains act as some form of Ash repellent, so a few passes of a rug doctor, and it'll be the same embarrassing, stained and ugly mess that it was before. Is this what I get for fulfilling the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth? Eternally dirty carpet? Someone ought to put a warning label on these kids.

I guess it was a good thing I had just been doing the dishes so Squizzle could spend ten minutes in the "hot tub" sink. Damage report is minimal, but this is a bad omen for the start of treat day.