A Press Release

AP--North Pole

Santa's Preseason Top Twenty Poll was released today and three runts from the Destroying Angel's conference sat squarely atop the Naughty List. Reaggers, Bub, and Peff each received 7 first place votes to lead Santa's early predictions of who will be getting toys and who will be getting carbon based heating fuel for the upcoming Holidays.

The voters, a group made up of Parents, Grandparents, and the Head Elf, seemed to be impressed by the Trio's early efforts at "Gettin Nuttin Fer Christmas".

The Big Three, as they are known, got the Christmas Preseason off to a raging start with a dominating performance over the down trodden and suddenly rebuilding Fatdaddy.

Early in the first half, Peff found some colored pencils and wisely waited until Fatdaddy was distracted by a crying baby to strike. The misdirection allowed the Miniature Miscreants to attempt a modernizing of cave art by coloring extensively on the living room walls. Despite a late game rally in which Fatdaddy demanded that the three scrub the graffiti off, the fight was effectively over by half time.

"The thing I can't believe was their team speed", said a disappointed Fatdaddy. "I just went to change the baby and then, Wham! It was over before I could blink."

Pressed for further comment, the visibly shaken Fatdaddy seemed to struggle for the right words to describe his emotions.

"I just got out executed today. It was like being a no-legged man in a butt-kicking contest. All I could do was lay there and get my butt kicked. I feel like a Washington General."

The winners were still scrubbing walls and unavailable for comment. Their victory places them firmly in the drivers seat for the BCS or Big Coal Sack, which will be awarded December 25th.