A week ago last Friday, the Boss took the Eldest to California for a night. The Eldest had taken the online Jeopardy! test twice and both times she had received an Email inviting her to Culver City, California to audition and interview (She spent much of the time looking for "Red Feathers" but to her disappointment, found none). The first time she passed, we had no way to get her there. And we were too poor to pay attention. The second time, we were able to swing a few things and get her to the interviews.
We found out back in August, but didn't tell her until about two hours before she and the Boss needed to head to the airport. The Boss had even packed for her, so she was on the plane before she had a chance to even think about it.
(I wish someone would surprise me with a trip somewhere. I'd even be happy with a drive to Provo, as long as there aren't children screaming in the back seat.)
Anyway, they left Friday night and were due back on Saturday at about 9 p.m. When they got to the airport, the hotel shuttle that was supposed to pick them up drove right past them. The Boss called the hotel and they sent the shuttle back. It went past them again. The Boss gave up and took a cab.
They got to the Hotel around 10 p.m. and got checked in(I won't tell you the name of the hotel but it rhymes with "Badisson"). They went up to their room and the key didn't work. The boss double checked the floor and room numbers, but no dice. So she and the Eldest schlepped back down to the front desk. They re-swiped the keys, checked the room number, and sent them back up the elevator. Again, the key didn't work. Back downstairs, and this time a maintenance man was sent to help. When the key still didn't work, he opened the door to find that the room already had someone staying in it.
In this age of techno-crap computers, how they could double book a room and not have sirens going off thirty different places at the registration desk is beyond me, but there you have it. They promised to get them another room on the floor, but after another 15 minutes were informed the floor was full and they were going to get an "upgrade". An hour and fifteen minutes after arriving at the hotel, they got into the "upgraded" room which included a refrigerator that didn't work, complimentary bottled water (one bottle), a lamp that was dangling on the wall by its cord, dirty wall paper, and a bathroom complete with a torn and dirty bathmat.
Never one to complain (she is married to me, after all) the Boss just said the heck with it and put the Eldest to bed.
Meanwhile back at the ranch...
I was trying to order pizza from a joint that rhymes with Pizza Nut. All I wanted was one of those pasta things and one large cheese lover pizza. 10 minutes and three "Hang on just a sec while I make sure this is right" and then another five minutes of register fumbling and manager checking go by and finally the lady tells me my total is thirty seven bucks.
"Wow!" I said.
"The pizza is seventeen dollars by itself", the lady says.
"Really? Like the kind I can buy at Little Ceasers for five?" I asked.
"Yeah" she says.
"Forget it", says I. "I just want the pasta."
"Sure. It'll be about two hours; we're kinda busy."
"Let me help you to be less busy. Cancel my order, I don't want it."
I BBQ'd hot dogs instead and then sent the kids to bed. Just as I was sitting down to the ballgame (about two hours later...) there was a knock at the door. It was the Pizza Nut guy with an order of pasta. I thanked him, told him I had cancelled the order before I had even hung up and closed the door. No wonder it was taking two hours, they kept trying to deliver orders they didn't have.
I tell this story for two reasons.
First, my life is so ridiculous that there is no way even a mind as twisted as mine can make this stuff up. It's too bizarre not to be true.
Second, that kid on Home Alone 2 was right. If you can't get a decent Hotel room OR a lovely cheese pizza, then it is time to start hurling paint cans and bricks off of rooftops!
I gotta go, Joe Pesci is at the door.
Reminds me of a little trip to Mesquite. We had reservations at we'll call it the Oasis because that was its name. When we checked in they said they were doing maintinance on the water line so no water for an hour. 4 hours later we got water. At 5 in the morning I woke up with something crawling on me. We turned on the lights and there we saw a parade of ants coming up out of the shower, across the room up the wall along the top of the head board across to our daughters bed and down into her backpack. We called the desk, they would send someone. We waited one hour then moved all our stuff out of the room and after two hours called again. They sent a boy who spoke no English and a can of Raid. He looked and left. Husband went to the desk. They said sorry. We left a letter for the manager and moved on. Never got a response from management.
ReplyDelete"Mmmm... cheese..." says Wallace with a big toothy grin as Gromit looks on, rolling his eyes at his ignorant master. -Jess
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