How this is going to work

Alright. I'm not about to start pasting my real name all over the Internet (What if someone actually reads this and decides I'm not employable?), so forget about my kids names. I'm gonna use nicknames and if you don't like it, tough.

If you do happen to know real names, (Who's gonna read this that doesn't?) please be courteous enough to use the nicknames when replying. If you're not sure who's who at first, call me and I'll tell you. You're all smart, you'll get it quick.

I'm Fatdaddy, shiftless layabout and cheap daycare provider. I have a degree in English, fifteen years on a forklift, and few other marketable skills. My stated goal is to teach high school English and coach wrestling, but my secret desire is to make a dumptruck full of money as a writer.

My sainted wife is the "Boss". She is the "Boss" because she pays for everything, not because she tells me what to do. She also runs a fast food restaurant and so she really is the "Boss" to a lot of other half intelligent, barely employable people. Maybe it's why she puts up with me.

Our oldest daughter (12) will be known as the "Eldest" simply because she has no real nickname. If you have a good one for her, we'll use it. Maybe turn it into a contest or something.

Daughter number 2 is Moe (9).

Daughter number 3 is Puzey or Puzilla (7). Don't ask.

Number 1 son is Peff (5). Its a longer story than Puzey.

Son number 2 is Squizzle (9 months).

My siblings will be referred to by their first initial with the notable exception of Beak, cause that one is too easy. Beak is my youngest sister and has ALWAYS been Beak.

I provide daycare services for Beak and her two kids, Bub (boy, age 3), and Reaggers (girl, age 4)

My parents are Mom and Dad, while the Boss's parents are Ma and Pop.

We'll figure out the rest as we go. If anybody gets lost, remember who your buddy is.